Getting up this morning for Mass was a little harder than usual, but I knew I had no choice...it's Saturday! I love this Mass at St. John's because of the devotion to Our Lady. The priest wears a white chasuble with blue accents and the deacon has a white stole with a small picture of Mary near the shoulder. My favorite part is that, at the end of Mass, we sing the first verse of "Immaculate Mary" a cappella. Maybe I love it so much because it's the only form of music we have other than at Sunday Mass -- what a beautiful tribute to our Blessed Mother! Very simple yet radiant, just like her.
I know that I need to go to confession today; it's been two weeks and I won't be able to go next weekend. When we were kids, Mum took us every two months. In recent years I'd been trying to go once a month, but these days it seems like my spiritual strength lasts only about 2 1/2 or 3 weeks and then I can feel myself start to slip away. It still makes me quite anxious, unfortunately, so I know I'll have a nervous stomach for all of today, but at least by this evening I'll be filled again with God's grace.
My goal for today is to be productive -- work on my senior paper! -- and to practice moderation in eating. I know Lent isn't for four days but I really need to address this now rather than waiting. Dearest Jesus, bring light to the darkness of my heart today.
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