Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 10: Renewal

I am completely exhausted - physically, emotionally, and spiritually (though in a positive way as a result of all the spiritual growth I've been doing lately).  Today was good, and even great except for the constant, nagging worry about Paul.  I can't seem to shake those feelings.

Morning Mass, then to IHOP with Matt and Oliver.  Back to the parish center to set up for the mini-retreat. We had three students come with Emma from Stevenson, and there were five of us from McDaniel.  Fr. Lou talked about discernment of God's will, and Dean spoke about going against the flow of our culture.

Adoration was a gift.  I walked in last and there was no place to sit except the last pew, but someone was already taking up the part with the kneeler, so all that was left was the bench piece that extends across to the middle of the back wall of the chapel.  I genuflected and sat down, and almost gasped at what I saw.  I was face-to-face with Jesus in the Eucharist.  I've always sat on one side or the other, but now I was dead center and couldn't do much about it.  And without a kneeler, I didn't have much of a choice but to sit, to remain still and let God love me.  I want to learn silence, though I think it will take some time to cultivate it.

I'll write tomorrow when I'm coherent again.

Lord Jesus, I love You with all of my heart.

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