Not alone

I have a confession to make.

I struggle with scrupulosity.

At first I thought my obsessions, hangups, fears, and anxieties were normal.  I soon realized, though, that I was different from most other people, including most good Catholics, and there was no way I could explain my scruples to them.  Not even to my parents, who I love and trust to a fault.  No one would understand my seemingly meaningless and unfounded worries.  My fear of confession grew ever stronger, but I would still make myself go every so often.  Sometimes I thought it might be easier if I confessed every week, but this would have been too much for me.

Thank God for a few amazing confessors I have had over the past several years.  My scrupulosity has become more manageable, though to the outsider my habits and thinking patterns would probably still appear very odd.  I found this last night, and it has made all the difference.  My mouth dropped open as I read through it -- it was as though the author was inside my head and describing my own life!  For the first time, I know that I am not alone.  While I don't think I'll take any action in the immediate future, I am aware that pastoral counseling is an option if my struggles worsen.

I am grateful to Leila at Little Catholic Bubble for her post on this topic, where I found the link to the Ten Commandments for the scrupulous.

St. Alphonsus Liguori, pray for us!